Depravity
by Pen Sil
Summary: Was she only born to be a pawn?
1. Depravity

**Depravity**

She tries to keep it to herself but there's a part of her that thinks he's just as horrible a person as Gyokuen.

The sage Laotze says that a ruler must never rule for personal gain, that he must always rule for the sake of ruling, for the sake of keeping the circle going. Much like the way of the world, the flow of the rukh. If the ruler does not act in the interest of that eternal impartial flow his actions will become evil.  
She cannot tell if his actions are impartial or not. Certainly he is acting in the best interest of his country. His country and nothing else. Sindria is everything to him and on a personal plain that is something she admires. There are no slaves in Sindria, no real poverty. Everyone seems so happy. Wouldn't it be wonderful if every nation could be like that?

But like every nation there is a shadow side. In Magnostadt it is the impoverished people living like livestock underground. In Leam it is the terrible games that make people wish for the death of others. In Sindria there is no darkness in the people because their ruler cares for their survival, but there is a great darkness in the ruler.

Sinbad is a cunning man with little attachment to anyone he meets on his way. He is quite happy to do whatever he wants and cares little for right and wrong. He is magnificent and powerful, and he has the ability to charm most anyone with the mere use of words.

She is terrified of him.

Kougyoku is merely an Eight Imperial Princess. She is just the daughter of a concubine. She has been alone for much of her life and she has fought her way to power, to her standing as a general. She knows her duty to the rukh, to her country, to her family, and to her heart.

Yet she cannot understand.

There's a part of her faith in the rukh that is deeply hurt by their treatment of her. It questions her existence. Was she merely born to be his pawn in the Kou court? Is that all her heart and loyalty is worth?

He's always been playing with her, always used her emotions to guide her along a path that will aid him - and destroy her.

Yet she loves him so deeply.

When the hypnosis breaks and her ears stop ringing she remembers. It seems to have only grown worse, to have become more powerful and she despairs for she does not understand.

She's been aware the entire time he has acted through her, she remembers it all. Under the hypnosis she could not bring herself to care for it was not his will that she should care. Now she is ashamed, afraid, and very much in love.

She avoids Judal and Gyokuen with all her might. She doesn't even trust Ka Koubun anymore. If the Organization finds out they're sure to want to get to her, to transform her into a terrible monster. A monster she has no wish to become.

Yet she cannot help the negative spiral of thought to be created within her mind. He must truly despise her, someone so pathetic and selfish. She cannot even let go of an attachment that hurts her. He tried to marry her off to Alibaba so he would not have to deal with her starlit eyes anymore. Truly, she must have been an eyesore.

As time passes she becomes the embodiment of her djinn. She cannot concentrate on fighting and she almost dies in battle once because she is too emotionally distraught to concentrate. She hands in her metal vessel, asks it to be given to someone else, someone more worthy. Judal rejoices.

While she isolates herself he places a dark metal vessel in her hands. "I'm just leaving this here for your keeping," he says, smirking.

She's too far gone to even put it away.

* * *

She's not quite sure where she is anymore.

It's dark. So dark she can't tell up from down, but not so dark she feels her childhood fear chill her bones.

Somewhere far off she can hear screams of terror. She can smell fire too, sense the rushing if an angry ocean.

She doesn't care.

Why she was brought into this life doesn't matter to her anymore. The whole world is ridiculous and it has given her nothing but pain and sorrow. No one cares and she can understand why. She is a pathetic creature after all; someone who cannot survive without the love and approval of others. Like him the rukh never cared. She is nothing but a tool, if not worse than a tool. A tool had not been born to know its a tool, after all. She is sure that would be bliss.

At some point she becomes aware she has fallen into depravity. Perhaps it is the darkness that whispers it to her. Perhaps it is just that that much of her consciousness she has retrieved.

She wonders if she stabbed herself. Truly then she will have paid for the crimes she was chosen to commit. She thinks it is a fitting end to someone so hated, someone so foolish.

Looking back at her life she sees that her existence was nothing but that of a useless unwanted being. Created from lust she had not been wished by her father and her mother had only used her as a means to gain power. Later she had been all but forgotten, until Ka Koubun came along to change her destiny from someone unwanted to someone who could be used. She'd been used by him, by Judal, by Gyokuen. And then she'd fallen in love and that had made her a useable pawn - the most perfect pawn - to the man she had been chosen to love. To the man the rukh had bound her to.

That kind of destiny she wished upon no one.

* * *

early morning fic. Sorry about the angst. I just couldn't find a way to make this into something happy. Anyway I think this had a nice ring to it and I might expand on it later... Maybe. Don't hold me to it tho.

Thanks for reading :D


	2. Chaos and Creation

**Chaos and Creation**

She was the worst possible adversary against Sindria - against any ocean nation, really. The sea hammered against the remaining parts of Yamuraiha's walls again and again, and one of those blasted magicians from the Organization wass hanging beside her, smiling victoriously.

On the ground the battle was raging, at sea their ships were being destroyed by her waves, by the cannon fire and by the magical tools of the enemy ships.

War was harsh and he hated it. He hated it because he had no power over it. He might be powerful, but he couldn't save his nation, his soldiers. He hated it because it was what he'd been taught to hate - he'd learnt at an early age that war is bloody, not glorious.

Aladdin landed beside him, panting. He was fighting Judal even now, and it was so obvious that the two Magi were complete opposites. "They're regrouping," he said. "Sinbad, you have to do something about Kougyoku."

He spendt time on barking out orders, using it as a way to hide his hesitation, then said "I'm a little busy here, Aladdin."

"Bullshit." Alibaba was on his right before he'd even become aware that the prince of Balbadd was there. "This is your fault to begin with, and we need her back on our side anyway if we want to be rid of this damned organization."

"We'll distract her long enough for Aladdin to use Solomon's Wisdom on her," Hakuryuu said, appearing on Sinbad's other side, Morgiana at his shoulder. "But you're going to have to go with him into her mind."

Before Sinbad could protest again Aladdin cut in. "It won't be that easy. Judal has taken precautions. That sword is not a Dark Metal Vessel; it's her own metal vessel, corrupted."

"What?" Hakuryuu spun on the magi, eyes swimming with disbelief. "That can't be! She handed it over to the Emperor before going into isolation."

"Let me guess," Sinbad said, his eyes training to the black dots in the sky. "Gyokuen handed it over to Judal, who cursed it, and handed it back to the princess."

"That's exactly what happened," Aladdin said. "And by then she was already so close to falling that the contact with the taint was the only extra nudge she needed."

There was an uncomfortable silence as Alibaba's friends watched Sibad expectantly. He knew he could not keep pushing it away, knew he could not sacrifice her to the chaos of her own mind. She was needed on Solomon's side, in order to keep the balance of the rukh. That he had now become a tool to righten his own wrong he did not mind so much. He knew it was a necessary action to get what he wanted.

"Alright," he said, concentrating his magoi for an attack. "This is what we're going to do…"

* * *

He'd manipulated countless of minds in his fight to keep Sindria safe, but he's never been inside the mind of another living person before.

As they descended into the darkness Aladdin explained that what they were now was a product of their rukh, what they would meet was what Kougyoku's rukh had taken the form of; an image of her own mind. The rukh can only their own person's truth, after all.

Sinbad could feel the chaos in his soul stir the farther they went, and he knew that he would probably have to face himself in this darkness.

Why was he here again? He couldn't quite remember. He knew that he has always wanted to protect those he cared about; it was the duty his father left him. It wasn't about the country, it wasn't about the war. It was simply about protecting one's family. And that was what Sindria was; one big family. So what did it matter if the world burnt to ashes? What did it matter if one little girl fell apart? Was she truly that important?

He thought he remembered something about Sindria not being able to survive without the world, that the world will not survive without her. But he also knew that he couldn't honestly promise her what she needed to be able to step out of the darkness. Why would he? He hated being bound. Being bound to that country, to be bound to the love he felt for his family… that feeling of attachment was what blackened his soul to begin with. Being attached to a woman, too, would only create more darkness. Eventually she would give him a child, and that in turn would create an attachment. He'd never quite been able to protect the females in his life, nor those related to him by blood. The rukh had not allowed him to do so.

"Here," Aladdin said, and Sinbad remembered he is not alone. "Let me help you see the light a little clearer again."

He touched Sin's forehead briefly and memories flashed through the king's mind; memories of his smiling generals, of people brought out of poverty. Then he saw visions of the field of ash that will be left once Al-Thamen is done with the world. There would be no humans to meet, no oceans to sail, no light. Just darkness, and chaos. "Life is not an easy thing to live," Aladdin said, "but you have been chosen as a leader of this world. No, you chose that path yourself when you stepped into the first Dungeon. Because of that your duty is _to _the world."

Sinbad knew his rukh was being cleansed as Aladdin spoke. He knew there were still holes in what Aladdin was saying. But even those doubts seemed to be cleared away. He did not wish for anyone to fall into depravity, and he hated being the cause of it.

Yet he did not love the princess of the Kou kingdom. How could he possibly make her believe in herself again if his love was what she craved?

Aladdin smiled and made a motion with his hand. Sinbad followed the motion and saw the black lake ahead. Beneath its surface floated a body. Its white skin shone ethereally in the darkness and its eyes were wide open, but blank.

"You could start by apologizing," the magi said, smiling. His rukh dispersed and Sinbad was alone.

Well, not entirely alone.

Sinbad moved down to the lake. He hovered over the lake, knowing full well that if he touched the surface it would try to pull him through. But Aladdin had cleared his path and his mind. It was easy to steel his spirit, reach down into the cold water, and drag her out. The taint fell off him like normal water would, but it clung to her making her seem gray, colourless.

Kougyoku was smaller and younger than he ever remembered seeing her. As she had come rushing out of the water, which had grabbed at her feet, her body had transformed into that of a coughing child. Her hair was a mess, there was no metal vessel. She looked thin, and pale, and frightened. Snakes hung like shackles around her wrists and ankles.

She pulled her arm out of his grip and hung in front of him. She smiled sadly, her eyes empty. "You're shining," she said, "with golden light. It's like the sun."

Sinbad opened his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by pictures of dark rooms and contemptuous expressions. Pictures of a little girl, neglected and hiding away, afraid of others. She'd been far more fragile than he'd expected.

"I tried reaching for that light once," she said, her form aging a couple of years. With it he saw new pictures, pictures of Ka Koubun, of Judal, of her brother. He felt the light her ambition of those years. The pictures changed and there he was. In her memory he was shining too, smiling, a source of inspiration. "But I must have been created to only seek for it, never reach it. To be a stepping stone for others, who were meant for that light."

Then there was flashes of people; he saw Yamu and Sharr arguing, he saw Alibaba and Aladdin laughing, Morgiana training with Masrur. He saw himself speaking to his people, he saw others he did not know interact. He saw children hugging their parents, he saw other children laughing and playing. Children of the court, even children of the slums. Sinbad felt the loneliness there, he felt the envy.

These were all people she had observed. These were the bonds she had never truly experienced herself. She hated the rukh for that. That was why she had fallen.

No… that wasn't right. She'd fallen because he'd broken any small connection she'd felt. He'd used her so he could get to the people who actually cared for her.

In spite of feeling bad Sinbad felt humbled. To be the center of someone's world in such a way. It was terrifying. It meant he had to take responsibility. He'd caused her too much pain.

He remembered her in Sindria before he'd messed with her mind, sitting alone in the flower field, but smiling brightly as she gathered the flowers. He was going to bring that smile back, and he was going to protect it.

"Kougyoku," he said, kneeling so he was level with her. Her eyes cleared briefly at the familiar way of address. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I used you, I'm sorry I hurt you. I thought you were stronger than this.

"But right now, we both need to get back. Your older brother has found evidence that all of the Djinn needs to stand together to choose one new king. We need you to come back to end this war."

Immediately the consciousness faded from her eyes again. "But then… won't I just be another kind of pawn? A pawn to help Solomon create a better world. And then what will happen? Once we've been exploited what will happen to those of us who hold metal vessels? Won't we just be thrown aside like the useless pawns we would then be?"

He smiled. "That depends on what king we decide on," he said. "Who would you like to be king, Kougyoku?"

She closed her eyes. The question seemed to pain her, and he wondered if he was pressuring her. "I would not wish for anyone to be the pawn of the rukh anymore," she whispered. "But my heart tells me that Aladdin's candidate, Alibaba… he would make a wise king, who would not act on selfish needs."

Sinbad nodded and reached out to run a hand over her hair. The darkness that covered her there, turned to golden rukh and they fluttered away, leaving her a little more colourful. "I agree with you," he said. "Alibaba is what the world needs and he has grown up rather magnificently. Won't you come back and help your friend?"

She hesitated to answer and he shook his head at her. "Kougyoku. We live to serve others, but sometimes we need people to protect us from those who will exploit that. I'd like to be that person to you. Will you let me?"

Her eyes glassed over, gaining light and emotion in the process. They weren't happy emotions, however. What he saw in her eyes was pain. Tears brimmed over and fell down her cheeks. "I loved you," she whispered. Her knees shook and she lost her footing. "_I loved you!"_

Before Sinbad was completely aware of what he was doing he'd reached out and saved her from dropping back into the black lake beneath them. He cradled her shaking body to his, but there was no change in her condition this time. "I know," he whispered. "And I'm sorry. If you can, I'm begging you to put your faith in me again. I promise you I won't hurt you a second time. You won't be alone again."

She sighed and sagged against him. "There was a time when I wished more than anything to hear such words spoken to me," she said, "for someone to mean them."

Sinbad held his breath, he could feel her thoughts running in many different tracks. She was making a decision and he needed it to be the right one.

Kougyoku reached up, using her on his shoulder and neck as leverage pulled herself up. She placed her forehead against his. She opened her eyes and smiled sunnily at him. Her eyes were clear - there was an innocent adoration in her eyes then, a hesitant happiness. "Alright. I'll trust you."

The darkness scattered into a thousand fluttering rukh of gold and pink, revealing an endless blue sky and the most perfect sea, glittering beneath them under a hot sun.

* * *

Yeah... I usually don't upload multi-chaps before all the chapters are done, but since this is only going to be a three-shot and that I'd already uploaded the first part I figured I might as well.

I changed the writing style from present tense to past tense. I'm really trying to get back to that. If I missed something feel free to tell me and I'll correct it.

So there. I hope you enjoy this. It's a bit less angsty than the first chapter.


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